A Personal Journey - Navigating the Identity Maze – Part 2 by Jankhana

Welcome back to our continuing journey of navigating the identity maze!

While turning the chapters of literature to explore various dimensions of individual and collective identities, transgender identity emerges as a significant human experience. It allows us to explore the unique experiences, challenges, and triumphs of transgender individuals on their path to self-discovery and self-expression. Trust, this path will surely stir up a turbulent whirlwind of emotions within, challenging our perceptions.

Source: AI Generated Image

Let’s embark on this profound exploration of transgender identity, once again through the powerful medium of poetry. Wondering how identity poems contribute to transgender visibility and awareness? These do help in several ways to amplify transgender voices and foster a more inclusive society for them. Some of the significant contributions of these poems include:

• Personal Narratives: Every poem has a different narrative with a unique set of experiences and emotions humanizing the transgender community. This takes the readers deep into their core and gain a better understanding of their existence in human society.
• Empathy and Understanding: Through words, languages, and emotions, poetry helps readers have a better understanding of the challenges, turmoil, and ignorance these people have to face. 
• Fostering Inclusivity: These poems challenge stereotypes and dispel myths about these people. This encourages fostering an inclusive and empathetic society for the community. 
• Advocacy: Many transgender people are activists, writers, and poets. Through their poems they address important concerns like discrimination and violence. This further helps push boundaries for meaningful changes in favor of the community. 

Piercing Reality of the Transgender Community

During the exploration what touched me the most was the piercing reality of the community beautifully expressed through the poem, What It’s Like to Be Transgender. Written by a South African slam poet and TED Speaker, Lee Mokobe, the poem is a tale of gender identity and acceptance.

The first time I uttered a prayer was in a glass-stained cathedral.

I was kneeling long after the congregation was on its feet,

dip both hands into holy water,

trace the trinity across my chest,

my tiny body drooping like a question mark

all over the wooden pew.

I asked Jesus to fix me,

and when he did not answer

I befriended silence in the hopes that my sin would burn

and salve my mouth would dissolve like sugar on tongue,

but shame lingered as an aftertaste.

And in an attempt to reintroduce me to sanctity,

my mother told me of the miracle I was,

said I could grow up to be anything I want.

I decided to be a boy.

It was cute.

I had snapback, toothless grin,

used skinned knees as street cred,

played hide and seek with what was left of my goal.

I was it.

The winner to a game the other kids couldn’t play,

I was the mystery of an anatomy,

a question asked but not answered,

tightroping between awkward boy and apologetic girl,

and when I turned 12, the boy phase wasn’t deemed cute anymore.

It was met with nostalgic aunts who missed seeing my knees in the shadow of skirts,

who reminded me that my kind of attitude would never bring a husband home,

that I exist for heterosexual marriage and child-bearing.

And I swallowed their insults along with their slurs.

Naturally, I did not come out of the closet.

The kids at my school opened it without my permission.

Called me by a name I did not recognize,

said “lesbian,”

but I was more boy than girl, more Ken than Barbie.

It had nothing to do with hating my body,

I just love it enough to let it go,

I treat it like a house,

and when your house is falling apart,

you do not evacuate,

you make it comfortable enough to house all your insides,

you make it pretty enough to invite guests over,

you make the floorboards strong enough to stand on.

My mother fears I have named myself after fading things.

As she counts the echoes left behind by Mya Hall, Leelah Alcorn, Blake Brockington.

She fears that I’ll die without a whisper,

that I’ll turn into “what a shame” conversations at the bus stop.

She claims I have turned myself into a mausoleum,

that I am a walking casket,

news headlines have turned my identity into a spectacle,

Bruce Jenner on everyone’s lips while the brutality of living in this body

becomes an asterisk at the bottom of equality pages.

No one ever thinks of us as human

because we are more ghost than flesh,

because people fear that my gender expression is a trick,

that it exists to be perverse,

that it ensnares them without their consent,

that my body is a feast for their eyes and hands

and once they have fed off my queer,

they’ll regurgitate all the parts they did not like.

They’ll put me back into the closet, hang me with all the other skeletons.

I will be the best attraction.

Can you see how easy it is to talk people into coffins,

to misspell their names on gravestones.

And people still wonder why there are boys rotting,

they go away in high school hallways

they are afraid of becoming another hashtag in a second

afraid of classroom discussions becoming like judgment day

and now oncoming traffic is embracing more transgender children than parents.

I wonder how long it will be

before the trans suicide notes start to feel redundant,

before we realize that our bodies become lessons about sin

way before we learn how to love them.

Like God didn’t save all this breath and mercy,

like my blood is not the wine that washed over Jesus’ feet.

My prayers are now getting stuck in my throat.

Maybe I am finally fixed,

maybe I just don’t care,

maybe God finally listened to my prayers.

That’s such an emotional journey for transgender individuals. It delves into multiple experiences and emotions they go through while yearning for self-discovery and self-acceptance. The poem touches on various aspects of their journey, like:

• The quest for identity is their biggest struggle. They are forced to reconcile their identities and fix their existence with societal norms and religious expectations.
• Loss of childhood innocence is what they keep missing all through their journey. As little children they are more accepted but as the real pictures keep unfolding, their innocence and identity get lost amidst human experiences and interventions.
• Societal perceptions pull them away from a normal life. The plight of these individuals is often marked by criticism, discrimination, isolation, and a sense of alienation. This further leads to mental health challenges.
• Suicidal acts become a distressing manifestation of their emotional pain and lack of societal acceptance. Dehumanizing treatment in various ways leads them to depression and anxiety, further intensifying their emotional toll. This leaves them with only one choice, suicide!

Suicide becomes their choice but being transgenders is never their choice or option! Why are we as humans not able to understand and accept this? The emotional turmoil transgender individuals endure and the struggle they undergo is beautifully expressed in the poem. Sadly, this beauty is a grim reality.

Presenting Reflections

Today, the words of Virginia Woolf, a renowned British writer, flashes my mind, In each of us two powers preside, one male, one female. Her words reflect that every human mind has a natural blending of masculine and feminine qualities or energies, a mindset that transcends traditional gender distinctions. This helps to create and nurture a creative, radiant, and unified mind that can tap into a fuller spectrum of human experiences and emotions. Sadly, when this natural blending comes to the physical realm, everything turns upside down. The reflection is worth pondering.

The live testimony to this struggle against ignorance is the journey of India’s first transgender principal who created history on June 9, 2015, Manabi Bandopadhyay. Another impeccable embodiment of compassion, unwavering determination, and resilience in the transgender community is Gauri Sawant, co-founder of the NGO “Sakhi Char Chowghi”. Moreover, she as a ‘Trans Mommy’ becomes a beacon of hope and inspiration for being the mother of an adopted daughter. Her unmistakable appeal, bold life decisions, and of course her iconic journey is well-documented in the movie “Taali”, starring ‘Sushmita Sen’.

Source: AI Generated Image

Not all are able to achieve such a kind of feat and they remain lost and ignorant all their lives. Don’t you think sensitization is the need of the hour? While challenges persist, drag shows with increased visibility of their struggles and bold expressions of transgender artists across domains are setting the stage for a more inclusive and accepting tomorrow. And the time starts now, ensuring inclusion of transgenders in society so that no living being has to navigate this painful journey of identity maze.

FAQs

Ques 1: Who are some transgender poets known for their identity poems?
Ans 1: Some of the renowned transgender poets known for their identity poems are Andrea Gibson, Danez Smith, Kai Cheng Thom, Ryka Aoki, Kokumo, Priyanka Divakar, A. Revathi, Gee Semmalar, Joyita Mondal, Durga Gawde, and Sukanyeah Krishnan.

Ques 2: What are some recommended collections or anthologies featuring transgender identity poems?
Ans 2: There are several collections and anthologies that feature transgender identity poems. Some of the most renowned collections include:

• Troubling the Line: Trans and Genderqueer Poetry and Poetics edited by TC Tolbert and Tim Trace Peterson
• Nepantla: An Anthology for Queer Poets of Color edited by Christopher Soto
• Persistent Voices: Poetry by Writers Lost to AIDS edited by Philip Clark and David Groff
• The Collection: Short Fiction from the Transgender Vanguard edited by Tom Léger and Riley MacLeod
• Nameless Woman: An Anthology of Fiction by Trans Women of Color edited by Cameron Awkward-Rich and Christopher Soto

 
Ques 3: What are some common themes explored in transgender identity poems?
Ans 3: Some common themes explored in these poems are gender dysphoria, transgender experiences, self-discovery, transition, self-acceptance, transgender empowerment, and intersectionality.
 
Ques 4: How do transgender identity poems contribute to the broader LGBTQ+ literature movement?
Ans 4: Transgender identity poems play a vital role in the broader LGBTQ+ literature movement by representing their voices, exploring intersectionality, challenging binaries, serving as an educational platform, fostering solidarity within the LGBTQ+ community, promoting awareness, and expanding the literary LGBTQ+ canon. This further enriches the movement, contributing to a more inclusive literary world.